Where it all started...

I began this blog to vent out my frustrations of life... especially living with MS. I never thought to start off as to, hey... this is how I got here... So, here we go.

At the beginning of 2010, I noticed that the right side of my face was tingling here and there... started off on my lip. Well, my whole life i've been a walking accident so I thought that it was my body being weird to me because of the hell i've put it through. It went away.. came back... went away, and so on and so on.

Well when James was in his Fire Academy for a week in July of 2010, I went to San Antonio to stay w/ my mom (it was her 50th bday) <<Sorry for outing you mom. Well anyways, I still had some numbness/tingling on the right side of my face... I had just kinda dealt with it. I had gone to my PCP about it & they put me on meds for anxiety/stress and scheduled an MRI for when I got back from being out of town.

Anyways, so , I'm in town for her bday and we had her party, it was a blast... mom drank a LITTLE bit too much... but hey what can ya do! So, I'm sitting at my computer doing some homework... then my vision went blurred and my left arm went numb... freaked me out. My mom stayed at home w/ the kids and I went to the hospital. They tested me for stroke... monitored me and did a CT Scan.

The CT scan came back normal, go figure right, & they told me I was STRESSED...and that the monitor showed I was hyperventilating at times... well no shit sherlock. So they told me to follow up w/ my PCP. So when I got home, I followed up w/ my PCP... I had to see the nurse practitioner cause my DR was booked. So, I see the N.P and she was a snooty biatch, just saying. She tells me I'm STRESSED, once again that's what they are telling me my symptoms are caused by. So she said since my CT scans are fine, she CANCELLED my MRI.

That next month (August 2010) I graduated w/ my Associates Degree in Criminal Justice Corrections on the 15th... I then realized the WHOLE side of my face is numb and tingling... and had a burning sensation to it. So, here I go to my PCP... She treats me for "bells palsy" and gives me steroids w/ a referral to a neuro. Guess what, I get better w/ the steroids! lol

I have my evaluation w/ my neuro on like the 25th or something of August... He orders an MRI to "check on things". I go in for my MRI on Saturday, August 28th.... The contrast made me sick to my stomach.... but I made it through it. That night, I went to bed and I was watching TV and I had this like after effect of light in my eye. You know when you take a picture and the flash like stays in your eye for a minute, yeah that. So I turn off the TV and go to bed.

The next morning, I'm a walking sober drunk person. I couldn't balance a paper plate w/ my left hand... I was running in to walls and all that. Now, me and the walls are strangers -- but this was a little bit too much of running in to each other. So, I had some double vision going on... couldn't text worth a crap & I just gave up on that whole thing lol. The next day I called the neuro, no response... I call like 3 times and nothing. So James and the kids and I go to the hospital, they drop me off up front for me to go to ER. I was like okay, well my neuros office is right here let me go see if I can talk to him.

I go up to my neuros office, they "fit" me in to his schedule.... I go into his office and he tells me I have MS. I'm like okay, cool.. what's that how do we get rid of it... Then he explains it to me, and like a sissy baby I cry lol << I'm not a very emotional person, just to let you know. So, I call James and him and the kids come up there... James walks in sees I'm crying and says, "Well this can't be good." So after we go over everything again, we schedule a "follow-up" visit after I get IV steroids, mind you during all of this, I texted my mom and told her and I don't think I will EVER live that one down.

So, I get the IV roids and get the steroid taper and finally get to feeling better. Had my follow up & chose to get on Avonex. Started Avonex in September & finally got adjusted to taking the shot and learned how to "avoid" the side-effects. Well... my 23rd birthday is coming up, October 13, 2010, and I'm SUPER excited! And then I have a relapse! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Only this time, my right side of my face is completely paralyzed & I'm having issues swallowing and I can't walk w/ out assistance... all that stuff. Off to the neuro we go... ((long story I know, but we're almost done)).

So, I get another MRI and SURPRISE I HAVE HEADLIGHTS! I call them headlights because I got two new lesions on my brain stem & on the MRI they look like headlights. So, I get IV roids.... I'm actually getting them the day OF my birthday. James still went through w/ my bday party it was a lot of fun, especially since I was doped up on pain pills, I was the life of the party. lol

It's been over a year and I've had relapses but increased symptoms, that you've read about. By the way, MRI on Tuesday. It's been a roller coaster that's for sure... I found out who my real friends are.. which the ones I thought would stick around, didn't. Oh well, screw them... their loss right? Everyone always tells me that I've really taken this diagnosis and moved on w/ it... It's like, well yeah I can't just sit around and feel sorry for myself I have two kids to care for. So I came across MSWorld and it's been the best thing that has happened to me since my diagnosis. I've met friends here that can never be replaces, and I've found the true meaning of friends forever, through thick and thin.

So just remember, we're not alone... we all have a plan in life... and this is my plan. It's not what I thought it would be, but it's something I'm proud of. Nobody can make you truly happy, but yourself. You need to find peace within, no matter what your situation to triumph and conquer. MS has won this battle, but I will win the war, along w/ everyone else diagnosed with MS. There is a saying I saw and I'm sticking to it, "MS is only for STRONG fighters." Well if you know me, you know I'm a fighter and this is a fight i'm not backing down to.

Life is a blessing... the outcome of your own life, is the way you choose to live it.

xoxoxoxoxo
Ashley