Holy Fatigue!

Hey there, I finally have time to actually sit down and blog about what's been going on in my life. I've been SEVERELY fatigued lately... and all I ever want to do it sleep. It's been horrible. I'm on fatigue medication (nuvigil), but it seems as if my body is "used" the medication I guess. So, looks like I'm calling the neuro about my options. Before I was diagnosed with MS, but yet still had MS, I was taking adderral... and I had amazing energy and it seemed as if it helped my weight as well. So I'm going to see if that's an option?

So I've been doing some research on things that can make me feel better, naturally. So, I'm doing a natural total body cleanse of all of the organs. Today is day 1, so we will see how it goes. It's a 7-day cleanse. I've heard it really helps out your energy, and so far, I'm not wanting to pass out like I normally am, so that's a good thing, right?

So yesterday morning, I woke up and things were kind of fuzzy as far as vision goes... and later in the day I got EXTREMELY tired and starting getting double vision. I'm thinking that I have just been over doing it when I'm actually awake enough to do something as well as the weather change. I feel better today, vision isn't 100% but it's not as bad as it has been before. When I couldn't even use my phone or get on the computer or drive.

I had my Tysabri infusion last week and I made a friend! I was excited... of course she isn't my age, but it's good to speak to someone about my issues face to face that can relate. So someone isn't just sitting there and starring at me while I'm explaining how I'm feeling, they actually "get it".

I really need to get on the ball with house chores, but I just stare at it instead... it's exhausting just to even think about all the things that I "need" to do... but I just can't convince myself to actually go through with it and get it done.

I'm really excited about going to the AAN meeting next month in New Orleans or as I call it "Nawlins". It's closer to home, so it's like I know what to expect and I won't be completely lost in what I'm doing. James and I have been on the hunt for pink camo duct tape so we can decorate my cane, because I have an obsession with pink camo... and I don't like walking around with something that's "boring" looking lol.

On another note, Jason has been talking to me about Family Fitness Night at his school for like the past month. It's tonight at his school and he really wants me to go... and I'm just thinking to myself, "how in the hell am I doing to do it?" Because I don't want to embarrass him at school because I'm not able to be like the other "moms". And let me tell you, I've been up there and those moms are all like sticks and have perfect make-up and hair. When there are like "dress-ups" at school or something like that, these mom's go all out... and I'm thinking to myself, How do you have enough energy to do all of this!!!

I guess I just don't want to come off as a "bad mom" because I can't do everything that they can... and then the parents not want their kids to hang out with Jason outside of school or anything like that. Jason has been talking about wanting to have a sleep-over and I want to let him. But of course, I want to get to know the parents better & finish with my house "make-over".

I've been looking into summer camps for Jason as well, so that he isn't at home with me all summer long bored. Because I know that with the Texas heat, I'm not going to be able to keep up w/ his energy levels. And I don't want him to get bored or mad at me because I "can't" do things that he wants to do.

I keep thinking to myself what I can do to make things go back to the way they used to be, when it comes to doing things with the kids. And it's like, maybe if I lived in a different climate, maybe if I did this, maybe if I did that... and it's exhausting even thinking about it. I think that today, I'm going to enjoy my quiet time while the kids are at school and James is at class... and just rest so that HOPEFULLY I have energy later on and can go to Jason's Family Fitness Night!

I do know that I need to get some sort of laundry done or else we aren't going to have any clothes to wear. My mom is coming up today and staying the weekend so I know that she will help me out and I really want to get some things done while she is here... like finish cleaning up and organizing the upstairs, so that it can be a "guest-room". We will see how far I get to getting anything done that I want to do. Because my list is a mile long... and I think I could maybe get ONE thing done a week, MAYBE!

So that's my check-in. I'm going to try and look decent to take Luke to school... I wish I could just go everywhere in my sweatpants, sweatshirt and no make-up and hair up in a pony tail... lol

xoxoxo
Ashley