Hello Steroids!

Well today was my last day of steroids. They gave me Lunesta yesterday after my infusion because I couldn't sleep the night before. So last night I took one pill of Lunesta... didn't work after a couple of hours. So I took another that they had given me & I finally fell asleep. Did anyone notice that your emotions are like 10X heightened on steroids?! Holy crap! For one, I got like a million things done yesterday. But my emotions are on edge. I'm not an emotional person... and holy crap! I think it's bringing everything out that I keep locked in... NOT COOL ROIDS, NOT COOL!

Getting Roids w/ my bag of Jolly Ranchers.
The jolly ranchers help w/ the nasty taste!

I'm hoping that the roids will help my symptoms die down. This whole cognitive function crap & swallowing issues, it not cool. I am looking forward to my urology appointment. Just so I can get some damn relief, hopefully. I'm supposed to get my results back from my blood work that week as well, to see about the JC Virus, or whatever. While I was getting my infusion these past couple of days, I spoke w/ others that are on Tysabri & they are handling it very well. That gives me some type of relief... I know we are all different... but it's always nice to hear a good thing about a possible drug you could be on, especially one that slows progression.

I went to walmart and got some more things for Christmas decorating. We are going to do that tonight w/ the kids. I got a singing dog for over the fire place, he is Santa's helper. I'm gonna tell the boys that the dog reports back to Santa.... maybe they will behave more (yea right). It's a worth a shot though.

Jason, my five year old, has been very worried about me lately. They both saw my bandage for where the port was for my IV. It's so nice to have such a young innocent kid just be so compassionate and loving. It made my day. Luke, my two year old, doesn't really understand anything. He just knows mommy has "owies" as he says.

So i've been doing some research... and I've decided to do the "Swank Diet". No red meat for a year.... EEK! But I can have chicken... just don't tell my chickens! I think this evening w/ all of this energy I have I will start wrapping presents. I have one more final on the 12th that I really need to study for, so I'll probably end up listening to lectures later. The good thing is, that most of the questions come from previous exams, that I have typed up and have the answers to that she gave us.

You know what really got me "irked" today... I used my handicap parking pass because I've been having a "lazy leg" aka foot drop. People just stare at me, we went to IHOP this morning, and when we went back to the car, there were people starring at me from inside the restaurant... HELLO! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! < see what I mean about emotions heightened. It's like do I need to wear a sign on my forehead that says I'm a young person w/ MS... I mean holy crap. I don't LIKE to use my handicapped parking placard... but you gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes.

With all of this stress going on lately, my vision has been fizzling in and out... but that's because I have Optic Neuritis in both eyes. Again, the steroids should keep that under control. Once I get James to decorate my cane, I'll have to post a picture. It's getting him away from all the hunting, to actually decorate it... that's going to be a difficult task. He did a shoot a deer the other day, HELLO DEER SAUSAGE! << I have an obsession with dried deer sausage.

Anyways, today in the infusion room, I was talking to his lady who has had MS for a long time. She had this cute phone cover of a picture of her young son on it.. he is 15-months old. She said that she felt perfectly fine while she was pregnant... then after she had him, BOOM a horrible flare hit. That just goes to show that pregnancy does put your MS in to remission. I know they have a drug on trial for women... to make their body "think" they're pregnant... I just don't know if I would WANT to feel like I'm pregnant lol Hello Hormones.

I'm really trying hard to get into the Christmas Spirit and do everything I can w/ the boys to make it a blast, but this time of year reminds me of what we went through 4 years ago, the abrupt loss of my mother-in-law at age 52. James and I were in New Mexico celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary (our anniversary is Dec. 17)... she died Dec 20th, 2007. So it's always a rough time this time of year, but we make it through it. Jason said that God needed a Angel to teach the other angels. ((She was a 2nd grade teacher)). Even though I miss her like crazy, I have to think that God has a plan for all of us. That's what makes me think that MS is only for STRONG fighters... Life isn't easy... and I always have to think that there is someone out there that is worse off than I am.

Well, I'm gonna start getting decoration out... I will catch up soon. I hope everyone is having a fun time preparing for the Holidays!

xoxoxo
Ashley

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer