Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Emotional Rollercoaster

So I feel like I'm literally on an emotional rollercoaster... some days I'm fine.. some says I'm really hyper/happy.... and then some days I just don't even want to get out of bed... I honestly don't know what to expect from myself these days. It's weird... and I don't know how much longer I'm going to go through it. Can lesions do this? It seems sometimes like I'm bipolar or something, like you don't know how I'm going to react to a situation.

I've been keeping quiet lately and just laying around because I keep getting this horrible migraine that I can't get rid of and moving my head around and light irritate it. My oldest song got upset with me last week which upset me but I didn't show him. He was upset that I can't be like the other moms and come to his class to help out all the time and be at his class parties. I for one told him that Luke (his little brother) has been out of school because of his broken leg and that I haven't been feeling well. He told me, "Well mom when are you gonna get better... you are always not feeling good." It's like, how do I answer that? I was speechless and just changed the subject so I didn't have to answer it.

On a good note, Luke got his cast off yesterday and is now in a walking boot and can go back to daycare, which I think I'm more excited than he is. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids... but I need a break every now and then. I think it keeps me sane to be alone every now and then. I don't like to be around people all the time.

I still haven't decided if I'm going back to school anytime soon. I'm still looking at my options on what I can do in school, because I don't want to waste my time & money going and failing because of my cognitive dysfunction. I've never been a quitter and I feel like I've been defeated when it comes to school. I know that I stopped going for a good reason... but sometimes I just get that feeling as to, how much do I have to change/give up because of MS?

I've been sitting here looking at my house knowing that I need to clean it... but I know that I'm going to have super clean before Sunday for Luke's Birthday Party, so I'm just going to "pick up" until then. We're making cupcakes today for Luke to take to school tomorrow. They love baking w/ me and I love it. Now if I could get them to LOVE cleaning as well.

I've been looking around online for designs for a MS tattoo... I really want one, but I'm very picky... and tattoos are permanent. So I think it's just going to take time & thought before I come to the conclusion.

Well, my migraine is back, so it's time to lay down.

1 comment:

  1. I'm 25, with MS as well. I have the same feelings about school, it's really frustrating. I plan on taking a few classes this coming fall. We need to try and not let MS get in the way. :)