Sunday, January 22, 2012

Weird Feeling

So, yesterday I was at the softball fields ALL day long. It wasn't hot outside... which was a good thing, because it was supposed to be hot. After the softball fields, James and I went out with some friends and got home REALLY late. I think that did me in. I've felt "weird" all day. I had kinda gotten out of the funk I was in, but now I think I fell back in to it.

I haven't been doing what I usually do everyday. Today, I've just wanted to go back to bed. I did do some research on a medication I was taking, Abilify, and I really feel like that has contributed a lot to my weight gain from what I've read. I stopped taking it and I'm not stressed or anything... and I got in to a funk before I stopped taking it, so I don't know what the deal is.

I at least got laundry done today... that even made me feel worse. I think after dinner I'm taking a shower and going to be REALLY early. I don't think it has helped that I've been trying to push through everything and not lay down when my body wants to lay down. I feel like if I do lay down that I won't get up. It's kinda like... "I'm giving in" and I don't want to.

I guess I need to realize that I can't always push through everything when I want to. Sometimes I do need to take the time to sit down and relax when my body is forcing me. I also don't think the weather has helped out at all. It was like 40 yesterday and 80 today.

Once I start getting money from Social Security (if I win my case), I'm calling a cleaning service to come like once a month to do the DEEP cleaning so I can just maintain the cleaning. I feel bad that when my mom comes up she cleans and does my laundry... but then again I don't stop her because I need the help.

My mom is coming up Wednesday night... I have a neuro appointment on Thursday. So she wanted to be there for that. I don't like going by myself. I don't really like driving myself anywhere these days because driving has gotten very difficult. I just don't want driving to be something I give up on also.

I need to figure something out about full-time daycare for my youngest, Luke, because it's getting harder and harder to care for him by myself. I mean if taking care of him was all I had to do, then yeah I could do that. But there are other things I have to do throughout the day that takes some of my "spoons" away. I'm referring to the Spoon Theory if you haven't heard of it, check it out.

James is making dinner tonight... which is a BIG relief... because if it was up to me t


  1. Hey ashley,
    i just discovered your blog. i have had ms for 21 years and no oine gets it unless you have ms. it is a horrible disease. i have 3 awesome children but feel like i miss out on so much because i walk with a cane. you have to take 1 day at a time. i too have an awesome husband-thankfully. i used a company called Allsup to represent me for disability and i got approved the first time. the fee was only $400. it was a pleasant and easy process. i look forward to following your blog. maryann

  2. Hi Ashley,
    The longer you live with MS the more you will get to know your body, when my body is screaming I want to lay down, Guess what! I listen. At first i just pushed thru those times especially if i was doing something fun with friends, family or my ten year old daughter. I found out the hard way that if i didn't i would pay a heavy price later.Its funny some times i can lay down for 20 minutes and im fine other times I lose whole days. It is really one day at a time, but this is also a battle for a quality of life not only now, but later in life. Found your blog by accident but glad i did.

  3. Hey Ash,

    I nominated you for a blog award today, hopefully it will gain you some followers :) go check it out at

    <3 Victoria