Okay, so yesterday I started going to the gym and omg I hurt. I was just walking the track and my left foot went completely numb.... I was like 'Oh you've got to be kidding me!' I mean, I was just walking... So needless to say, my work outs are very mild right now... not something I'm used to. I was in athletics growing up, so I'm used to a hard core work out... but I'de rather take it easy than end up in a wheel chair!
I've been EXTREMELY fatigued lately... I'm getting enough sleep... but I just don't want to get out of bed. Jason missed the bus this morning cause I didn't wake up. My father-in-law called me at like 7:15 asking if I got Jason off to school and I got out of bed (which takes a bit for me to get moving). I had to drive him to school... and I'm not a morning person AT ALL.
My cognitive issues & memory issues have been increasingly bad as well. I've been keeping a notepad and pen near by me so I can write anything & everything down, so I don't forget! Very frustrating... I'm probably gonna end up with post-it notes everywhere, little reminders on what I need to do. The bad part is, sometimes I can't grip the pen... so reading my "reminder" later on... is horrible.
I've been looking in to degrees that I could do... in order to work from home. I just don't want to commit to a job, and not be able to be there... or SLEEP IN. I just don't like making promises I can't keep. So, I'm very cautious as to what I commit to. I'm still wondering what's going to happen with all of this SSI crap.... I hate the waiting game and I just get more and more frustrated each day. Yeah I get it, I'm young... doesn't mean I can do everything that people my age are doing! Cause I CANNOT do what most people my age are doing and it sucks.
I'm getting more and more used to my limitations each day... though it's frustrating, time is healing. I'm not like I was when I was first diagnosed.. because when I was first diagnosed I didn't know about MS, I didn't know what could and would happen to me. So I was in like a dark hall of cluelessness. I'm more educated about MS now... and more involved in the MS community, which I love.
I love that I'm actually doing something about it... I feel like that kinda evens my emotions out about MS. It's like okay, yeah I have the disease and it sucks... but what can I do with it... what can I do to make a difference. I've been REALLY active lately with MSWorld, the place I volunteer for... I helped make an online store for MS apparel and merchandise... it's like being creative & really expressing my MS.. It's like blogging in a way... you can design your feelings, if that makes ANY sense at all.
Here is the store link: http://www.cafepress.com/msworld1996
Well, even though I've only been awake for 12 hours, I'm exhausted... I'm glad I get a "break" tomorrow with James at work & the boys both at school... Plus, I need to scan and send my mom my records, cause I can't read my DR's handwriting ... and she is a nurse w/ experience on that lol I will let everyone know what it says. Take care!
Oh, before I forget.... I re-scheduled my urology appointment, I go the 17th! Hopefully I can get my "issue" under control... cause it's driving me insane!